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Our latest humor contest to create the funniest
marriage vow for epidemiologists has attracted multiple entries,
but still only a limited number of entrants. Since we know from
previous contests that much good humor resides in the
epidemiology community, we have extended the deadline. To tap
this humor resource and to get your creative juices flowing,
here are a few examples of the entries received. Top these
entries, and earn $500. There is no limit on the number of
entries, and readers are encouraged to submit multiple vows.
Send your entries to
epimon@aol.com
The vow we used to kick-off the contest was:
“I promise I will always fail to reject you”
Among new entries in our contest are:
“I
promise to love you in morbidity and in health, until mortality
do us part.”
“I
promise to love you no matter the significant difference between
our expected and observed times together.”
“I
promise that all other relationships are spurious.”
“I
promise to not egregiously violate your assumption of
normality.”
“I promise with 99% confidence level that you are
my significant better half”
“I
promise that the housework will be uniformly distributed.”
"I promise to never let the posterior distribution change your
prior beliefs."
"Let's regress to the mean together, now and
forever!"
"I select you conditionally from this
day forward, to walk with you stepwise until our association
achieves significance."
"I promise to conduct a randomized, double-blind clinical trial
of our love once a year for the duration of our marriage."
"I promise to be reliable and valid, sensitive and specific, and
unbiased and efficient."
"Like a citizen of Framingham, I will voluntarily consent to
your study of my heart."
"I take you as my propensity score match from this baseline
observation forward, for better outcomes or for worse outcomes,
for greater SES or for lower SES, in case and in control, to
sample and to resample without replacement, till all-cause
mortality do us part." ■
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