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More than 100
entries have been submitted since late last year to the
Epidemiology Monitor contest to create the best marriage vow for
epidemiologists. The contest was inspired by a humorous vow
penned by the University of North Florida’s Tammie Johnson
in thinking about vows she might exchange with her new husband.
She came up with “I promise I will always fail to reject you”
and her humor has inspired scores of readers to be creative.
In collaboration
with Johnson, The Epidemiology Monitor will give a $500 prize
for the best slogan submitted to the newsletter. The deadline
was extended to April 30, 2014.
We received so many clever entries that we have
decided to consult our readers in making the final selection of
the winning slogan and two top runner ups. To help guide you, we
selected the top 25 slogans received. We ask our readers to
submit their votes for the best three slogans. Slogans receiving
the most votes will be selected for the top and runner up
prizes. The winner of the top prize will also receive a free
t-shirt with the winning slogan.
Send an email
with your votes for your 3 favorite slogans in order of
preference to
epimon@aol.com before June 15. We reserve the right to make
the final selection based on the overall results.
Also, we welcome
suggestions for a follow up contest. We could ask readers to
submit their favorite epidemiology related cartoon or humorous
quotes. Alternatively, we might rerun a contest from years past.
Readers who suggest an idea for a contest or competition that we
use will receive a prize from The Epidemiology Monitor.
The link below will take you to our
online voting. In addition to voting online you may also
submit your vote via email to
epimon@aol.com Below, in no particular order, are the top
25 candidate slogans for you to vote on. Vote for ONLY 3 slogans
and remember to specify your favorites for the winning and 2
runner up slogans.
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Top 25 Vows |
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1.
I
vow to you that my love for you will have a 100%
survival rate over a lifetime |
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2.
I vow to never let the posterior distribution
change your prior beliefs |
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3.
I promise that all other relationships are spurious |
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4.
I vow to be reliable and valid, sensitive and
specific, and unbiased and efficient |
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5.
I promise that you’ll always have the power to rule
out all my explanations |
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6.
Like
a citizen of Framingham, I will voluntarily consent
to your study of my heart. |
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7.
I promise not to egregiously violate your
assumption of normality. |
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8.
I promise our interactions will always be
significant and meaningful |
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9.
I
vow not to over control |
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10.
I probably do, within certain limits |
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11.
I vow that I'll never use you as my placebo control |
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12.
I promise you will always be my dependent variable |
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13.
I vow that even when I don't feel normal and a
little skewed, I will never be "mean" to you |
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14.
I vow to never adjust or modify myself just to
follow the latest trend |
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15.
I promise that my love is like a perfect trial:
100% adherence and no lost to follow up |
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16.
I vow there will be no variance in my love for you
ever. |
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17.
These vows cause us to be correlated until
mortality disperses us |
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18.
I
vow my love for you will be cumulative |
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19.
I promise never to be mean, and the average person
could never say that |
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20.
I promise that you will be my perfect concordant
pair |
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21.
I vow to never leave you with residual confounding |
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22.
I promise that our interactions will always be
synergistic |
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23.
I promise to always see you as significant, but
maybe I am just biased |
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24.
I promise that when life is variable, you can be
dependent on me |
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25.
I promise that no matter how many times we are
tested, that I will never adjust our level of
significance. |
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